I’m now fully awake. Couldn’t sleep all night ‘coz of cold and FUCKING LOUD SPEAKERS!!! What kind of God would need chanting from a loudspeaker that disturbs other tens of thousands of sleeps??? I mean seriously ridiculous were the fucking songs they played on those BRASS BAND speakers – severely auto-tuned shit that none on this planet, singer included, would now understand!!!
I hate waking up during early hours and this day may just have had all its wheels unbolted as far as my mood is concerned 😦
Regarding waking up, guess I’m right – I may be fully awake now. For all these years of this shitty life, my perspective of love may now be finally changing.
For Scorpions like me, love may be another form of clue about another person, about how they perceive us and how, in return, must we perceive them! We want logic to justify all our thoughts and hence, we try and delve into knowing things about it that most people would mundanely skip.
As it turns out, love for me is respect. Respecting others choices after properly evaluating myself that the choice won’t hurt them. And what if, even while knowing the choice may hurt, someone goes on to accept it and not shy away from pain? I would gladly let them accept it maintaining my respect for the choices they make in their own lives. For I have now given up stamping my piece of mind on people who would never accept my criticism or advice. In the end, all that effort is totally futile.
I once thought I could explain to someone what her relatives were doing to harm her and how for the sake of their own health and others, she should start taking actions and doing what not, to never let them step on her foot again. Now since they were her brothers and sisters I was talking about, after 3.5 hours of non-stop ranting, all that she had to tell me was,”Well, everyone has their opinions and so should you”… What the fuck!!!!
I was really disappointed, not by her, but on my insistence on letting her know about the exact truth and then I realized, it’s all futile. People on this planet have totally stopped taking advice till they really want them. No one gives a damn for the goodwill gesture you are trying to do and in all probability you are the one who will end up on the losing side, in that, they may charge you of cooking something up against them! What the fuck has the world stooped down to??? I say world because the people I’m talking about are my world!
I have now woken up to the feeling of absolute loneliness and accepted the fact that no one actually wants me around for most of them run away from the truth and prefer to hide their face away behind that veil of social fervour. No one wants to face the truth around me anymore. I’m not saying I’m all truth. I’m just saying very politely that I’m the face that may just make you cringe down to your last bone by showing you ugly ass face to yourself. Don’t get offended but false pretences around me just don’t work anymore.
For all you know, you may lose all my respect and as I said earlier, my love for you too!!!