That Face in the Mirror


I’ve written a few things. Small and insignificant as they are and were, they mean a lot. They give this barren moaning desert of a soul a dream of a thunderstorm, a storm that’ll change the texture of the laughing rocks and fill the air with that earthly smell after the rains.

I’m 30 years old. Old enough to be a father and a manager, and I’m none of them. I see myself in the mirror and an obscure vision of a merely satisfied man appears. A man who wants his petty griefs to end so he concentrates harder on things at hand. His spirit is free but scared to fly high. He’s scared of the vultures and the eagles that hound the skies. And everyday that he wakes up, he wants to be one of them killers.

But he is soft. He loves everyone, wants to respect everyone, gives each opinion a chance to stand and get itself heard. He isn’t scary but only for his demeanor, people hate him. He comes across hard, slaps the living lights out of you to let you in on your true self – your true reflection.

I was 8 years old when I wrote an autobiography about a coin and it’s life. How it travelled from the mint to an ocean. The teacher appreciated it a lot and placed it on the table, on the day of our results for everyone else to read, as an example to emulate in the future. I remember her clapping. Right there, she sowed the itch to write in my heart. I always knew I wanted to write. But what? I never let anyone in on my dream to write until recently.

I’d never written a word and yet I was scared of the evaluation and the seething comments I might receive. I was scared to get ruthlessly dumped out of the vast ocean of writing genius, that waited for me to dip my first toe in it. The pain of it thwarted my heart and I was yet to write a single word.

I’m not extraordinary. I’m simple with nothing more than a few words to offer. I’m clearly short on vocabulary and the grammar ain’t great either.

In 2012 though, I made my move. I had to get a lot of thoughts out of my system. They were clouding my heart and jolting my brain. I opened my account with WordPress after months of washing my face with tears and after further thinking, I decided upon Views Splash, as my pen name. It goes both ways – in soliciting and in providing the views. The name stands just right for me and my readers have done it full justice.

I wasn’t great at first and for a year and 2 months, I never wrote seriously, never made a move to improve, and never wrote enough. It was more thoughtless entertainment. It never satiated me. But inside I always knew, I wanted to do more. A persisting fight with my present wasn’t helping either. I was scared to let my thoughts out for everyone else will know. I’ll become an open book but deep down – I was still digging the grave that I’d been digging for past 30 years.

People have helped me immensely in nearly every matter of my life but not this. They’d built importance and they knew they were a part of every tide I’d faced – whether low or high. Yet they never dared touch my writing, for they’d burn their hands. It was fire they’d play with. Fire of the thoughts that will now flow like magma – uncaring, unrelenting till it cools and settles down by itself providing a more fertile land over time. Land that’ll flourish again with positive thoughts, smiles, and love.

My writing is my reflection and I love how it looks!

Lets see what others have written about this post –

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25 thoughts on “That Face in the Mirror”

    1. Thanks a million tons Alienora!!! Your comments are few of the most heart warming events of my day… it’s as if you are the Jacinta Kent (my last English teacher) whose comments I always waited for with every baited breath! 😀

      Like

  1. Why should you be scared to write?Writing regularly will help you to get better. Don’t think about negative comments,those are given by some who don’t care.
    I read your post I think you’ve done a great job,it will give you confidence which you and all of us need.

    Like

  2. At first I thought you needed a good shrink then I read on. Beautifully written and I’m so glad you decided to pick up your pen again. I became a follower.

    Like

    1. Yeah it’s so true… but I don’t mind sucking sometimes for it gives me a lot of freedom and space from intruders who then keep away from me! Thanks a ton for your encouragement… 🙂

      Like

  3. What a courageous and honest piece. It’s all so beautiful and heartfelt, and you don’t nearly give yourself enough credit. I wish I could say more, but somehow this has put me at a loss for words. Wonderful post!

    Like

  4. I really loved the read especially the last para “Yet they never dared touch my writing… fertile land over time. Creativity was splashing(Views Splash) out of this post. 🙂

    Like

  5. Dude how do you write so good!!!
    I mean why do you have to doubt yourself. It is pretty amazing what you wrote.
    The opening I thought was going to be about regrets but you turned it around entirely.
    Loved it

    Like

  6. I love your honesty. This post speaks volumes about your best writers. Some wellkn own writers just wrote what was on there minds. Audience wasn’t their main objective. It was simply to get those gnawing thoughts out! I know there are tons of great writers in this community, but some of my favorites are those with grammar errors. Those with everyday vocabulary. It is definitely a breath of fresh air reading this, as I am similar in my writing. I look forward to reading more of your blog in the minutes to come!

    Like

    1. Thanks a ton for your feedback! And that’s precisely how I like to write… the audience is never on my mind… just give it your best shot to put your own thoughts out there and it is sure to win some hearts even if few! 😀

      Like

      1. That’s all it takes! I, personally am tired of having to please people in reality. This is something that is for me and by me. My rules apply, and this is the only place where I don’t have to do something for someone else!

        Like

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