Man I have so much to write and absolutely no will to do it! I’m in pain (not physical), this heartache is the first one I don’t really understand. I feel so uptight, like it’s all stuffed and it has no outlet. I think that’s what the aim of my life has become – suppress it, cook it, and let it all out in one loud burst. This is no anger. It’s just a lot of stuff being grinded to fine, undefined crystals, that are refracting my rays of hope of love and a good life into a confusing array of colors. I have to pick one but like a dreaming child, I want it all and savor it all. I want to capture it in my fists and never let them out, so I can choose one whenever I want to.
But life ain’t that easy, is it?