The Goddess Energy

Why are we here?

We’re a swarm,

Created for that one purpose,

To work on that one goal,

To make mistakes,

To love again and again..

To trust the universe,.

To know that it’s the same for all of us,

To be one again,

To meet our maker.

We’re the bees,

We exist for the queen,

We exist to create that one home,

Our hive, our heaven unseen.

We’re different,

And yet are one.

Separated by the mind,

We dug a hole.

Forgot one another,

Forgot we’re the same chi,

To realize that potential,

Our Goddess Energy!

An Unbound Rage

That mental cacophony,

That uncompressed yell,

That undulating pain,

The hurt your heart felt,

That sickness in your belly,

Those trembling hands,

Those clenched muscles,

That need to dish out fear,

That sadistic streak,

Those flickering eyes,

Those shallow breaths,

Those pulsating nerves,

That short gulp,

Trigger to a Slur!

 

Sweet Dreams 

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep.

Away from the window, the truth,

The love, the faith, the people.

Watch those sheep jumping, pumping, hurtling rhythmically to the end of the screen and back again.

Count them so you forget the past,

The tormentors, the dictators,

The freedom seekers, the truth lovers.

Let our reality be the one you live,

Let our truth be all you see.

Sleep my baby.

Sweet dreams!

Her Song

Imagine.

A butterfly unfold,

With belligerent glittering wings,

She begins to fly,

Leaving a trail of gold.

Touching the sky at one,

For her limits are none.

Grazing the fall,

Touching the leaves,

Petting the flowers,

Wind blows it to the sea.

She leaps again,

This time, she won’t sway

For she knows her way.

While she heads for the stars,

She knows she can’t look back,

She believes in it now,

There’s no hiding any more,

When she lights the heavens on fire!

Future Haze

It’s always been a mystery to me how people can create their future in their heads and act accordingly now. For me my future is a blur. I’ve always been the reactive kind, dancing to the tunes that life plays for me. I’m so involved in my today that I hardly ever get time to think about tomorrow, bless those who can see others futures too. Is it intuition that they talk about? Or are they simply differently gifted? I believe I am gifted but my gift lies more enjoying my now than going after something that won’t necessarily be there for me as I see it.

Some people tell me that all it takes is knowing yourself better, knowing your preferences and an inclination to act to your whims today. That’s what I do I guess but when I ask questions, they tell me I have to set an intention for whatever I want to achieve? For which material goal should I set an intention for when nothing material interests me any more. My goals are all subjective like attaining total freedom, from the society, from the corporates, to find out what I’m here for and simply go after it.

I guess I need to fill myself with love and abandon all fear to attain what I’m after. Just on course though, to don’t know where, and while I’m at it let me say thanks to all the lessons I’m learning and how I’m being enabled to shed and heal.

My Shadow of Doubt

I’m a 125 kg man. 6ft in height. Good enough shoulders and a pot belly. In many a countries I’m overweight and some might argue to make me book 2 tickets just for myself to fly around. Just Kidding – I’m not that fat or am I? Don’t know and don’t care.

I can’t care less about my looks. It’s not a case of a scared and suppressed man who’s heard and hates the word ‘Mota’ (Fatso) way more than his own name during the course of his life. Even if the latter part is true, I believe no amount of ragging, nudging, pushing, or loathing can subdue the inner spirit that says nothing is impossible. This is no delusion. There are times though when I think, what it would take for me to prepare for the inevitable, that last ray of light that gets noticed in my head, the moment I realize that I’m eventually unprepared for the worst. How do you prepare for it? In this dynamic world with all sorts of things loose on the streets that can kill you any second, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for the last light or the last night.

I may not know the answers to some questions and yet, I believe that they aren’t tough enough to figure out. I’ve seen enough competitive years to know that the times when you are stuck is nature’s way to bring forth the lessons that you may have missed while dealing with the course that nature itself designed for you. I’ve been chubby and to an extent – fat for my age. I was born heavy, lived heavy and am surviving (rather well) heavy. I hate figuring out the measures of my blood or the proteins or carbohydrates. I hate thinking that I am sick. If I ever am, trust me when I say this, the news WILL fall on deaf ears like it always does. I don’t plan to live long. It’s never at the back of my mind. I don’t like and want the funny things that come with some spectacular end. I don’t want money. As long as I survive on my own, I’m glad to have not bothered a soul with my issues. To those whom I’ve already bothered with my existence, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there when I truly needed you for without you, my boat wouldn’t have had the wind it needed to set sail.

So whats the point of this post? I know you’ve all heard this message a trillion times before. However, I’m trying. I’m trying to start believing in the figure I see when I look into the mirror. It’s an exercise some of the new souls in my life are having me do. They say acceptance is the key for me. I want to start a new, reinvigorated and stress free journey, one that fulfils my dreams and mine alone. I don’t see anyone becoming a part of this voyage, for I can’t see far. But I believe that if there is a part wherein another soul has to intervene, they will know their purpose and will only add new meaning and colors to it. Everyone has to start somewhere. I refuse to see this world in the way it comes to me. I see a lot of good happening and this shall forever be my endeavor – to see good for that’s what invigorates me. I will go beyond the damning filth that’s always presented first, to find the truth and whether it’s worthwhile to pursue. I will not stress to find what doesn’t concern me.

I will strive to find what’s right for me and will not be lazy. I aspire to create a vibration, a flow of light that truly defines my purpose (yet unknown). I invite the energies that are destined to become a part of me.

I aspire to erase this shadow of doubt that destroys the purity of my form. I’ll follow my gut.

Bring It On

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Journey.”

The time of hope and persistence, honesty and dread, karma and belief, brought with it a surreal series of change. Break it down – the time into fragments, for each is as magnificent in its own right, a bag full of teachings, shining brightly upon my path. That path and where it leads, I know not.

The all-knowing, all giving power that rises within us in times of desperation – is like lights beside the runway to guide not just the stable but more so, the unstable planes. Nothing teaches us more about ourselves than such times of desperation. I learnt a lot.

Yes I was scared. Yes I was confused. Yes the pain in the heart was ever bearing and the brain, paralysed. Yet every stone that hurt me, only powered me, to go that much further. To look for my destiny. To smile at the sight of the end of the earth and sky, that horizon, which I knew would someday be mine.

Desperation when used properly is possibly the greatest tool we can own. Enough of it makes us fearless, uncaring. It shows us the true strength of our character. It gives us clarity on the decisions we make. It guides us to that juncture where we either rise or fall. It stretches us beyond our limits to possibly achieve the unthinkable, or get us ever closer to that “Eureka” moment.

The simplest formulae to tapping and reaping from even the rough times is to say to yourself – “these trying times are another bundle of opportunities”. And believe in it. Keep repeating it to yourself and condition yourself to just do the right thing, the humane thing. There are a million wolves waiting for your shivering carcass to show through your thinning skin but don’t care, don’t bother. I met my long cherished goal after walking on a daunting and humiliating path that forever shamed my self-respect and yet I rose and came through.

It doesn’t shame me now, to proclaim that I went through the mud to reach that Lotus and the effort I put into it. To have got my hands dirty in a coal mine to get to that Diamond. Life seems so complete now and how I wish it would last forever the same way with no further hiccups but then, that wouldn’t be fun, will it?

Bring it on!

Things Change and How!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Transporter.”

A lot has changed. From the time when a tiny boom box painted the rainbow of sounds across our home, as it churned out melodies after melodies on the radio and cassette player, to today when I have my sound at my fingertips. The smell of food that filled my heart will forever remain attached to the sounds I heard then. I see my mother in the kitchen, now and then. One ever so busy mother, with a job at hand, making sure all’s in order for lunch while me and my brother freshen up and change into regular clothes.

The table cleaned, waiting for a flurry of dishes be placed on it, to embrace them, to taste the curries that filled them. The table loved us. While we dearly waited for my dad to arrive, on his scooter, “Priya”, the sound of which got everyone into action. The table, all dressed, invited the hungry ones. Hungry ones always found the way. What would normally start out as lunch with sun-filled eyes ended in a blur. Somehow I don’t remember a single thing I did after lunch, probably clean the table and sleep was all I did till my pretense of being grown up finally showed through – then I studied, had to, never knowing why.

Today, while I wait for my maid to ring my doorbell and prepare what SHE calls food, I recall those afternoons, for I took them lightly, for they may never happen again. Such sweet memories and each one has a song for it. Like a straw that flows, I’ve seen a lot along the way, things appalling and shambolic, things that make me hum tunes, from the distant past. Tunes I won’t forget. Some Things change and how and Some never can!

Here is one of those tunes that reminds me of those lunches, the siestas and the pretense I now call “Studying” –

Birthday Prompt

How do you celebrate your beau’s birthday? What’s the surprise? 😀
Please post your response with a link back to this post as an appreciation for the thought and tag your post with VSPrompt.

Below are the responses to the prompt –

Alien Aura’s Blog – Birthday surprise for my beau…