Love And Only Love

Imagine a kingdom; a place well before any boundaries were created; no differences existed; a place where the urge to love ruled; a place governed solely under the solemn promise to protect this habitat – our Mother Earth; a place where everyone existed to support anyone or anything that has fallen; a place where each and every one only worked to be a medium for that higher power that created us; to reach out to the energies of this universe. Every thought that emanated there started from a place of love; a place that mandated us to look after this vehicle created of flesh; a place where the trees, the soil, the water, the fire and the sky reminded everyone of their places in the vast universe and how they needed to love and respect and, needless to say, save the place where they were born; a place where the creator’s voice will be heeded to first and unconditionally. And nothing but love for Mother Earth and its contents came first. Everyone realized that there is a need to respect the power that held our steps together for we understood that it bears our weight, gives and gives, provides for everything selflessly. No animals were killed unless nature required it. No trees were cut unless new ones were planted. If required, only a limited number of trees per year could be cut. There would be no currencies except for deeds of love.

That could be my utopia. But I know it can’t exist. I don’t know and hold enough to know the ups and downs of life on Earth, too many flaws and shortcomings, too many words that can be misconstrued. But I’ve had several messages that human language is flawed.

But what if this is our utopia. What if we’re told by the powers to be that this place was created to be a utopia – a place free of politics and religion. But us, with our penchant to improve things and run towards comfort, disowned the knowledge that our forefathers gained by meditating under the trees. What if the messages they received from our creator were falsified for personal benefits?

Or what if, we were told by our creator that politics and religions are the reasons why our time on Earth is actually a time for our soul to burn in hell. What if we’ve come here to learn our lessons, to live out our years on Earth that count for thousands of soul years. What if we’re told that there are chances that we’ve failed to live out our lessons most of the times and this is the reason we are heading towards our doomsday, a day when Earth will finally reset itself. What if we’re told that this is our destiny and we need to start learning our lessons urgently to finally merge with that single source of energy? What if this is our last and easiest chance to burn our karma and relieve ourselves of pain and suffering forever?

Or what if this is one those stages of evolution when we mandatorily have to go through the tough times? What if we’re told that these times are of transition and that humanity will progress to a higher dimension soon and all those who don’t learn their lessons soon enough, will be left behind? What if that is our doomsday?

No, I don’t believe in the doomsday theory as mentioned by the hilarious “2012” movie. But I do believe, we’re heading towards a time when none of the hatred we’ve created will matter and all those who’ve lived out their lives full of love and have at least tried to do it even during tough times will move on to better places with higher lessons and better chances of merging with God.

When I first started to write this post, and trust me I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, I thought this is going to be my worst post ever for I have no clue about what I’ll write. I’ve never imagined a heaven or hell. Those concepts are nugatory to me. Neither do they fill me with joy nor do they scare me. I believe this time is my time and I need to make it count. I’m carrying a lot of unbeknownst baggage and I’d like to shed it off during this birth inside this vehicle. I’ve been given an extraordinary vessel and it needs to perform as per the creators best wishes. I have no clue what my utopia is. It is possibly when I merge with my teacher beyond my sins that I know I can erase by emanating and spreading love and only love.

 

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Yin and Yang

Morality. Ayn Rand defines the word as –

defines a code of values to guide man’s choices and actions – the choices and actions that determine the course of his life.

There is male, there is female. There is one, there are many, there is none. There is pleasure, there is pain. There is earth, there is sky or water. You pick 2 things that the faculty of human mind has deemed antagonistic, inimical or simply just opposite. And if you have trouble coming to a conclusion that neither is right nor wrong, you have to start observing. Simply observe. Observe how you have both the male and female inside you. How your body is built around combining the power of both the energies; how each one of us is the living embodiment of Ardhnarishwar! We only ever forgot about them because our brains are now conditioned to run for logic (left brained) leaving creativity (right brained) by the wayside.

We were probably created by that one point sized source of energy that, probably in a dream or humor, decided to part into two, a moment in which it was unconscious or who knows conscious. It may have had no business dividing itself, but now that it had divided itself, everything that came later had to have 2 parts to every part of it (you see how I’m running towards logic here, leaving creativity by the wayside). I just want to say that we’re all built of two. A “two” that comes from one. And as everything is built of two, the universe gives you two of everything that are often polar opposite of each other. Yin and Yang, Black and White, 0 or 1 – it’s up to you to simply choose one. Nothing is wrong, nothing is right – it’s all a perception, a choice made in a situation presented to you cemented by your agreement to accept the inevitable result, which in itself is exposed to infinite possibilities. These choices that you make, make up your morality; a propensity to choose in a certain way given similar set of conditions in the future.

There you go, that’s morality for me – we’re all one, made up of infinite. I’ve always known that I’m different. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I am not the regular guy I seem to be on the outside. I’ve struggled to deal with people and mostly because I trust too easily and I am very emotional. It was hard finding truths about myself because I was always surrounded by people who never shared my priorities or philosophies. Yes, only now do I realize that I’ve always had philosophies. And only now am I able to shape them, mend their architecture to love myself more. The societal “responsible” tag has remained forever with me and it’s something I don’t wish to give up but now I place myself on priority too. I wish to give myself opportunities to love and fall but with grace and never having to hurt anyone which in most cases is, never inciting ill feelings inside another human heart. My work will only be limited to keeping a clean sheet between 2 hearts but being infinite with myself, never purging an emotion or action if it relieves me or keeps me in a zero unhindered state.

I am my truths and fallacies and so I am the living embodiment of my morality. I know there is a lot that I can change about me that’ll make my masters and God proud of me but somewhere I know they are already proud of who I am today and how far I have come.

The Goddess Energy

Why are we here?

We’re a swarm,

Created for that one purpose,

To work on that one goal,

To make mistakes,

To love again and again..

To trust the universe,.

To know that it’s the same for all of us,

To be one again,

To meet our maker.

We’re the bees,

We exist for the queen,

We exist to create that one home,

Our hive, our heaven unseen.

We’re different,

And yet are one.

Separated by the mind,

We dug a hole.

Forgot one another,

Forgot we’re the same chi,

To realize that potential,

Our Goddess Energy!

An Unbound Rage

That mental cacophony,

That uncompressed yell,

That undulating pain,

The hurt your heart felt,

That sickness in your belly,

Those trembling hands,

Those clenched muscles,

That need to dish out fear,

That sadistic streak,

Those flickering eyes,

Those shallow breaths,

Those pulsating nerves,

That short gulp,

Trigger to a Slur!

 

Sweet Dreams 

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep.

Away from the window, the truth,

The love, the faith, the people.

Watch those sheep jumping, pumping, hurtling rhythmically to the end of the screen and back again.

Count them so you forget the past,

The tormentors, the dictators,

The freedom seekers, the truth lovers.

Let our reality be the one you live,

Let our truth be all you see.

Sleep my baby.

Sweet dreams!

Her Song

Imagine.

A butterfly unfold,

With belligerent glittering wings,

She begins to fly,

Leaving a trail of gold.

Touching the sky at one,

For her limits are none.

Grazing the fall,

Touching the leaves,

Petting the flowers,

Wind blows it to the sea.

She leaps again,

This time, she won’t sway

For she knows her way.

While she heads for the stars,

She knows she can’t look back,

She believes in it now,

There’s no hiding any more,

When she lights the heavens on fire!

Future Haze

It’s always been a mystery to me how people can create their future in their heads and act accordingly now. For me my future is a blur. I’ve always been the reactive kind, dancing to the tunes that life plays for me. I’m so involved in my today that I hardly ever get time to think about tomorrow, bless those who can see others futures too. Is it intuition that they talk about? Or are they simply differently gifted? I believe I am gifted but my gift lies more enjoying my now than going after something that won’t necessarily be there for me as I see it.

Some people tell me that all it takes is knowing yourself better, knowing your preferences and an inclination to act to your whims today. That’s what I do I guess but when I ask questions, they tell me I have to set an intention for whatever I want to achieve? For which material goal should I set an intention for when nothing material interests me any more. My goals are all subjective like attaining total freedom, from the society, from the corporates, to find out what I’m here for and simply go after it.

I guess I need to fill myself with love and abandon all fear to attain what I’m after. Just on course though, to don’t know where, and while I’m at it let me say thanks to all the lessons I’m learning and how I’m being enabled to shed and heal.

My Shadow of Doubt

I’m a 125 kg man. 6ft in height. Good enough shoulders and a pot belly. In many a countries I’m overweight and some might argue to make me book 2 tickets just for myself to fly around. Just Kidding – I’m not that fat or am I? Don’t know and don’t care.

I can’t care less about my looks. It’s not a case of a scared and suppressed man who’s heard and hates the word ‘Mota’ (Fatso) way more than his own name during the course of his life. Even if the latter part is true, I believe no amount of ragging, nudging, pushing, or loathing can subdue the inner spirit that says nothing is impossible. This is no delusion. There are times though when I think, what it would take for me to prepare for the inevitable, that last ray of light that gets noticed in my head, the moment I realize that I’m eventually unprepared for the worst. How do you prepare for it? In this dynamic world with all sorts of things loose on the streets that can kill you any second, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for the last light or the last night.

I may not know the answers to some questions and yet, I believe that they aren’t tough enough to figure out. I’ve seen enough competitive years to know that the times when you are stuck is nature’s way to bring forth the lessons that you may have missed while dealing with the course that nature itself designed for you. I’ve been chubby and to an extent – fat for my age. I was born heavy, lived heavy and am surviving (rather well) heavy. I hate figuring out the measures of my blood or the proteins or carbohydrates. I hate thinking that I am sick. If I ever am, trust me when I say this, the news WILL fall on deaf ears like it always does. I don’t plan to live long. It’s never at the back of my mind. I don’t like and want the funny things that come with some spectacular end. I don’t want money. As long as I survive on my own, I’m glad to have not bothered a soul with my issues. To those whom I’ve already bothered with my existence, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there when I truly needed you for without you, my boat wouldn’t have had the wind it needed to set sail.

So whats the point of this post? I know you’ve all heard this message a trillion times before. However, I’m trying. I’m trying to start believing in the figure I see when I look into the mirror. It’s an exercise some of the new souls in my life are having me do. They say acceptance is the key for me. I want to start a new, reinvigorated and stress free journey, one that fulfils my dreams and mine alone. I don’t see anyone becoming a part of this voyage, for I can’t see far. But I believe that if there is a part wherein another soul has to intervene, they will know their purpose and will only add new meaning and colors to it. Everyone has to start somewhere. I refuse to see this world in the way it comes to me. I see a lot of good happening and this shall forever be my endeavor – to see good for that’s what invigorates me. I will go beyond the damning filth that’s always presented first, to find the truth and whether it’s worthwhile to pursue. I will not stress to find what doesn’t concern me.

I will strive to find what’s right for me and will not be lazy. I aspire to create a vibration, a flow of light that truly defines my purpose (yet unknown). I invite the energies that are destined to become a part of me.

I aspire to erase this shadow of doubt that destroys the purity of my form. I’ll follow my gut.

Bring It On

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Journey.”

The time of hope and persistence, honesty and dread, karma and belief, brought with it a surreal series of change. Break it down – the time into fragments, for each is as magnificent in its own right, a bag full of teachings, shining brightly upon my path. That path and where it leads, I know not.

The all-knowing, all giving power that rises within us in times of desperation – is like lights beside the runway to guide not just the stable but more so, the unstable planes. Nothing teaches us more about ourselves than such times of desperation. I learnt a lot.

Yes I was scared. Yes I was confused. Yes the pain in the heart was ever bearing and the brain, paralysed. Yet every stone that hurt me, only powered me, to go that much further. To look for my destiny. To smile at the sight of the end of the earth and sky, that horizon, which I knew would someday be mine.

Desperation when used properly is possibly the greatest tool we can own. Enough of it makes us fearless, uncaring. It shows us the true strength of our character. It gives us clarity on the decisions we make. It guides us to that juncture where we either rise or fall. It stretches us beyond our limits to possibly achieve the unthinkable, or get us ever closer to that “Eureka” moment.

The simplest formulae to tapping and reaping from even the rough times is to say to yourself – “these trying times are another bundle of opportunities”. And believe in it. Keep repeating it to yourself and condition yourself to just do the right thing, the humane thing. There are a million wolves waiting for your shivering carcass to show through your thinning skin but don’t care, don’t bother. I met my long cherished goal after walking on a daunting and humiliating path that forever shamed my self-respect and yet I rose and came through.

It doesn’t shame me now, to proclaim that I went through the mud to reach that Lotus and the effort I put into it. To have got my hands dirty in a coal mine to get to that Diamond. Life seems so complete now and how I wish it would last forever the same way with no further hiccups but then, that wouldn’t be fun, will it?

Bring it on!

Things Change and How!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Transporter.”

A lot has changed. From the time when a tiny boom box painted the rainbow of sounds across our home, as it churned out melodies after melodies on the radio and cassette player, to today when I have my sound at my fingertips. The smell of food that filled my heart will forever remain attached to the sounds I heard then. I see my mother in the kitchen, now and then. One ever so busy mother, with a job at hand, making sure all’s in order for lunch while me and my brother freshen up and change into regular clothes.

The table cleaned, waiting for a flurry of dishes be placed on it, to embrace them, to taste the curries that filled them. The table loved us. While we dearly waited for my dad to arrive, on his scooter, “Priya”, the sound of which got everyone into action. The table, all dressed, invited the hungry ones. Hungry ones always found the way. What would normally start out as lunch with sun-filled eyes ended in a blur. Somehow I don’t remember a single thing I did after lunch, probably clean the table and sleep was all I did till my pretense of being grown up finally showed through – then I studied, had to, never knowing why.

Today, while I wait for my maid to ring my doorbell and prepare what SHE calls food, I recall those afternoons, for I took them lightly, for they may never happen again. Such sweet memories and each one has a song for it. Like a straw that flows, I’ve seen a lot along the way, things appalling and shambolic, things that make me hum tunes, from the distant past. Tunes I won’t forget. Some Things change and how and Some never can!

Here is one of those tunes that reminds me of those lunches, the siestas and the pretense I now call “Studying” –

Birthday Prompt

How do you celebrate your beau’s birthday? What’s the surprise? 😀
Please post your response with a link back to this post as an appreciation for the thought and tag your post with VSPrompt.

Below are the responses to the prompt –

Alien Aura’s Blog – Birthday surprise for my beau…