It’s always been a mystery to me how people can create their future in their heads and act accordingly now. For me my future is a blur. I’ve always been the reactive kind, dancing to the tunes that life plays for me. I’m so involved in my today that I hardly ever get time to think about tomorrow, bless those who can see others futures too. Is it intuition that they talk about? Or are they simply differently gifted? I believe I am gifted but my gift lies more enjoying my now than going after something that won’t necessarily be there for me as I see it.
Some people tell me that all it takes is knowing yourself better, knowing your preferences and an inclination to act to your whims today. That’s what I do I guess but when I ask questions, they tell me I have to set an intention for whatever I want to achieve? For which material goal should I set an intention for when nothing material interests me any more. My goals are all subjective like attaining total freedom, from the society, from the corporates, to find out what I’m here for and simply go after it.
I guess I need to fill myself with love and abandon all fear to attain what I’m after. Just on course though, to don’t know where, and while I’m at it let me say thanks to all the lessons I’m learning and how I’m being enabled to shed and heal.
A pair of curtains hangs freely, loose to make me feel the wind.
A refrigerator hums to life feeling the warmth in this chilly winter.
A portrait with 2 happy faces lies gathering dust.
A chair sits waiting for a sit.
A table lies waiting for a mop.
A dog sleeps giving a tough snoring competition to my neighbor.
A half full glass of juice waits to get sipped.
A television set shows crap.
I lie on my couch typing present tenses in a gloomy lonely home.
My wife calls me and lets me know of her excitement about her 2 dogs she has petted.
Headphones bang in my head killing the deafening silence.
A heart hums to meet another.
A clock ticks me into another day.
The refrigerator starts again and falls silent.
The TV is still dumb showing crap.
And I’ve had enough of this present tense that only reminds me of my past.
The way I see it – past is imperfect, present is tense and the future beckons.
If you don’t and can’t trust me, please don’t let your shit splatter over my face again and again. It hurts. It hurts to know that people whom I know should have been closest to me, can’t trust me. All because of my past doings even when all the while in my recent past I have only been trying to make up for it with all the effort going rather unnoticed.
That brings me to a question – is it possible for a man distrusted to be ever trusted again? Do we forever lose the importance of their current words and actions in the chaos of their past? Do we always try to derive the results from their rather vulnerable past? Couldn’t it be possible that the man is trynna’ make up for his undoings, all the while correcting his present and preparing for his future, for which he is rather too late I suppose (for he has lost a lot of time dealing with the failures of the past)?
Why three wheeled cars could be the future of driving.
Just take away the ease of steering and then look at the case? Isn’t steering easier now as well? And these will be very small. What about the space for your lunch boxes on a day trip or suitcases when you want to pick up mom and dad from airport?
I believe this will only be a solution where people with low means would want to have a car. Or they can run the way three wheelers are used in India as a local transport where they can be zippy and easy to steer and can carry multiple people if you create large wagons at their backs!