I Wonder!

I can’t really recall if what I’m going to talk about was my summer vacation or the start of long Dussehra holidays in October.

What I remember clearly though, is the sweltering heat, the yellow iron gate guarding our yard, my brother who had playfully climbed on top of the gate while me and my mum stood by the front door watching him play.

Now let me describe that yellow gate – it brought a unironed symphony to our home. It was a pale yellow, sturdy, 2-flanked metal structure that opened directly out to the beauty of the world. When it opened, the hinges creaked in a staccato rhythm. The 2 flanks hinged on iron rails on both sides, upholding the fence on either side. Looking from where I and my mom were seeing it, the left flank of the gate was lower than the right, leaning in from the top edge where they met (or should’ve met). Which meant that when the gate was shut using the latch on the top, it left ample gap at the bottom for stray dogs to wander in and out of our lawn, absolutely unhindered, an opportunity not many dogs missed considering the ginormous mango tree in our yard for the shade. Not that they really needed a gap, for the gate had rectangles cut out inside it, ones that made the gate, a practical sham!

Why am I talking about the gate? It’s this gate that I often dream about. One that opens to someplace unknown. Having yet to feel and cross it, the gate seems like it’s built of grey smoke only to fool my eyes. The fear of everything covered in orange haze/smoke on the other side, numbs my legs like I’m magically flying. When I look around, I find myself on an abandoned railway platform. The trains chugging pass fast and in huge numbers, watched only by a pair of eyes waiting for a trigger, but nothing happens. Nothing ever happens!

I often wonder what the dream means? Am I scared of abandoned railway stations? Am I scared of orange smoke? Do I love my legs so much that I fear for my life having no sensations in them?

Or is it my place of zen where I wish to be all the time?

I wonder!

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Mother Nature

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Lets start with an analogy today.

Think of yourselves as a leaf. Your tree as our mother nature and soil as her keeper, the universe.

It didn’t go too bad, did it? I felt it today. Light, alone, a once-in-a-while-happy feeling. I felt free today.

Try and relate your life with a leafs life.

A leaf springs to life from a hole. A little bud that with regular feeding and nurturing starts to grow and show its true colors. Mother nature holds on to that bud tightly for as long as it can pull its own weight. And then the stems start to grow longer to let the leaf face the sun, know its purpose i.e. to give oxygen and preserve nature in return. The leaf remains for as long as it can braving the storms, the harsh sun, the snow and the rain, all to preserve the tree itself. And then autumn arrives when it must depart. It must give itself away to make way for another fresher stronger replacement. The tree whilst preparing the next batch stands naked withstanding the nature spending all that it can and grow old. After several of these autumn cycles when the tree finally gets frail, it starts to wither away. It’s those leaves that had fallen, that then act as the breeding ground for another tree. And the cycle continues.

How similar is that to us? Very. We are born from an orifice too as little buds all rolled up with hands and legs right up to our eyes to protect ourselves from the very nature that will later power us. The parents then provide us, keeping us on a short leash till we have grown and learnt t0 weather the storms of a cycle called life. They teach us to respect the nature and tell us our purpose – to survive. We learn to respect elders and make sure to stand up for them. We learn love. We then learn the most important lesson of our lives – to watch over our parents when we are stronger than they are. While us humans, would not have as many autumn cycles, we do wither away, don’t we but we have our children to breed the next tree just the way trees have leaves.

In both the cases, neither the tree nor the leaves ever wanted to desert each other but that’s a process. That’s nature. That’s how it works. We are so bound in this cycle that anything other than that seems out-of-place. Any other means of birthing, any other way of dying is unnatural.

I’ve grown into respecting the fact that nothing around us can be changed. Only we can change. And when people die unnaturally, it’s always been the most difficult for me to accept. Eventually I do but it requires reconciliation with our wasteful ways. Suicides, bombs, accidents, anything other than dying from old age is natural.

Respect mother nature for we are incapable of ever arresting its fury.