In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Singular Sensation.”
How I wish someone of my taste reads everything I write and tries to know me better. He/She needn’t be a genius. Just a concerned, conforming and an inquisitive person.
I need someone who wants to understand and know the thoughts that occur in my head randomly. They needn’t have the ears but must have the eyes to see through to inside. Every gaze must acknowledge me. It’s not the approval I seek, just a conscious effort to calm a very anxious mind. The nerves that never settle, always need a calming influence. Someone who understands the sweaty palms and the floundering words. The eyes that fail to look into others eyes and the lips that fail to break into a smile.
I just wish for a voice to break into one of my dreams and foretell my path. One that balms every single hurt that pegs me back. Erases the memories of the people who’ve pretended to care for me, never did and never could… simply never had the time. One that makes me forget the people who only remember me on special occasions except for real friends who have my consent to call me when they want to. I just wish for a real well-wisher that can tell me what to do without setting any expectations.
I just wish to laugh again knowing full well that they won’t ask me,”Why so happy today?”
You know what’s so special about superheroes and common man? A superhero wants to pretend as a common man while a common man wants to pretend as a superhero. The difference is between the need, the want and their aspirations. They are a case of dichotomy!
One is a superhero and needs to show himself as a man to gel better while the other is a common man but wants to be a superhero to look different.
We grew up watching and reading superheroes. As the childish innate desire grows to emulate them – their heroics, their generosity and their responsibility, the child grows too. Like all desires have their ceilings, this too has only two ways to go with age – either to get killed in the whirlwind demands of the world or come out, turn us into real superheroes of the world.
Some people choose roles that make them humans while others decide differently. While the former dissolve in the sea of normalcy, the others become the insoluble particles always visible. When we see them, we talk about them and decide whether they be acted upon. Whether they be left there untouched or be filtered out. We decide what to make out of them.
In this world where the different is what’s noticed, the value of the act in the eye of the observers decides if doers are really our superheroes. Since each act is scrutinized for we are too judgemental, we sometimes forget that in the end, they are humans too.
While this designation of superheroes may or may not necessary be happening at a worldly scale, it may be happening in our small little lives. This designation may or may not be happening at the doers expense too. It may have already happened in our subconscious without us even knowing about it.
But since most of us need a figure to look up to, we first choose them from among each other. Most often, they are dads, moms, grandmas, grandpas or a simple caretaker even. But they all exist and sometimes we fail to analyze and see these mere mortal men and women as humans. Vulnerable to the world and prone to mistakes themselves.
I pointed this out, because for some reason humanity is the last practical virtue we learn in our lives. By then we have already placed it below so many other crappy values that it becomes hard to find in the face of some simple human needs and desires.
While you may run in this world scathe free, your superheroes always have to watch out for their reputation in your eyes for your heart just can’t be broken. For this, some may even sacrifice their secret desires, their aspirations for the latter part of their lives when they have seen their children grow up, get married. The question for them will always remain – what do you need?
While the others may just break a few hearts and return to being humans and fulfil their own aspirations from their lives for their part in their small world is complete. They make their point clear to their world and tell them – we got to do what we got to do. The question for them is – am I done with my responsibility?
Both the sides live in this world harmoniously and yet when they do show their faces, both of them are right! Which side are you on?
Why is it so damn difficult to understand me?
How do I let you know what I want?
This for other day is only a liability,
But today the answers need to be sought
and favors need to be bought,
to understand what is being thought.
Kill me for wanting what is not,
Thoughts that are taught,
But are forever caught in the cages in my heart.
Why is it so damn difficult to understand me?
Don’t I talk?
Don’t I walk what I talk?
Can you see me?
Have you ever seen me?
Do you even know me?
Do I need to tell you,
I left behind everything and everyone for you?
Ain’t that a sacrifice that should let me have you,
The one that should let me get to you?
Oh I want you,
I so so want you!