I am Exhibit D!

I ain’t a judge! Of whatever that I do judge though, I’m pretty bad at it and so, I’ll just limit today’s daily prompt to just myself. The prompt takes me to a question that I’ve asked myself a countless times before – why can’t I be friends with any human being at all?

I see a million others so cool at befriending others. They are like butter over a hot pan, all over you before you know it! They take control of your brain, have your attention at full throttle – you’re spellbound! They are sweet talkers, there’s nothing foul about their language, and there’s always an amazing contagious electric energy in their eyes and expressions. They just can’t lay low! They have jokes at their beck and call all the time. They look so colorful, they blind you with their shine. They never let that unknown fad of a smile on your face to ever fade. They’ll jump off their bums at the slightest hint of a joke. Sarcasm holds no meaning for these losers for they don’t have enough brains to understand it. Lets call them exhibit A!

Then there are million others who are sympathizing with you before you even tell them what you’re so upset about. They are your ray of light in darkness. They appear out of nowhere, lend you a shoulder or a coffee when you need it the most. These have a halo on their head or multiple ones depending on how deep your feet are stuck. They are that one branch hanging right at the reach of your outstretched hands when you are sinking in a quicksand. They have solutions at their beck and call – some realizable and some not, but you’re trapped. Trapped under the weight of their soft tone, that feather light touch on your shoulders that makes you theirs to own. They are the handkerchiefs to your tears. Lets call them exhibit B!

Now how do you relate the 2 exhibits A and B? By listing what they have in common –

1. They are forever willing to extend a hand.

2. They aren’t shy to utter those words when they matter.

3. They lend you a twinkle in your eyes, even when it’s only time limited.

4. Most of them are good-natured.

5. They talk good on your face.

Lets now talk about exhibit C –

They are unknown. They don’t talk. They simply observe till they think it’s time for them to jump on the throttle. Now what’s wrong with this behavior is – by the time, they take the reigns of the situation in their hands, it’s already handed over to someone else. They notice the failure and when this happens a couple more times and they realize that life’s a bitch, they turn into exhibit D – the passive ones. They give a rat’s ass to what or who you are. Their purpose of existence on the crude soil of this planet simplifies to pleasuring themselves. They are the loners. They can have all the fun in a party in which they are the only guest.

Yes, I’m exhibit D where D stands for – Dreary, Dysfunctional, Dodgy, Desolate, Defiant, Disdainful, Discreet, Distraught, and Dynamic.

For me, the very existence of people on this planet is uncalled for. They don’t deserve their places beside me. And if they do, then please do whatever you want to, at the other side of this planet, so there are 50% lesser chances of me ever meeting you. Yes, I’m exhibit D for I am not as buttery as exhibit A, balming as exhibit B, and I’m way past exhibit C.

No wonder I have no friends other than the ones I’ve cared to mention before in some posts.

Lets see how others befriend others –

1. On Homophobia | AS I PLEASE
2. DAMN GOOD FRIENDS: RYAN [STORY TIME #2] | She Writes
3. My Friend the Sex Worker | AS I PLEASE
4. Tune of the night | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
5. Frozen | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
6. Making New Friends Has Never Been Easy | Musings | The Wangsgard
7. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
8. Why can’t we be friends? | Purplesus’ Blog
9. The Match (Part 9) Oh, Mother | The Jittery Goat
10. To Be Or Not To Be…Friends ? | Knowledge Addiction
11. ON BEFRIENDING | DANDELION’S DEN
12. DP Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends | Sabethville
13. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
14. Bridge Over Troubled Water | I’m a Writer, Yes I Am
15. Friends can lift… – Bottle the Moments
16. From Being A Loner To Being A Friend | Dragon Droppings
17. Daily Prompt: Wanna be friends? | cockatooscreeching
18. I’d Rather be Home | Overcoming to Becoming
19. You’re My Friend | Flowers and Breezes
20. Will You be my friend? Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BLOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
21. You and I | The Colours of Life
22. Daily Post; why can’t we be friends? | sixty, single and surviving
23. Introversion and Friendship: Mutually Exclusive? | meanderedwanderings
24. Why Can’t We Be Friends? | Pippakin Talks Cats, Dogs, Teeth and Claws
25. The humor and indignation taste test: The art of friendship these days « psychologistmimi
26. Rabbit’s Foot in Mouth | Charron’s Chatter
27. DP – Why Can’t We Be Friends? | hometogo232
28. Daily Prompt from WordPress: Making new friends – That’s My Answer
29. House of Cards « Averil Dean
30. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | Awl and Scribe
31. Friendship | A picture is worth 1000 words
32. Hello. | DMZ #721
33. Make Friends? | wisskko’s blog
34. Friends are Diamonds in the Rough | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
35. It’s probably me… | Hope* the happy hugger
36. Adult Friends | Lori’s Life and Other Stuff
37. Daily Prompt: Being Friendly! | All Things Cute and Beautiful
38. The Art and Science of Unmaking Friends
39. No one is so rich as to throw away a friend | I Didn’t Just Wake Up This Morning with a Craving
40. Daily Prompt: Making New Friends | A Day In The Life
41. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
42. Why Can’t We Be Friends? | manmadeoceans
43. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? « cognitive reflection
44. We Can’t Be Friends Because… | Random Writings by E
45. Let’s Just Be Friends. | Asta’s Space
46. Daily Prompt – Why can’t we be friends? | myjourneyeveryday
47. Why we can’t be friends | Your Blog Coach
48. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
49. WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS? | SERENDIPITY
50. What do you look for in a friend? – 9th April 2014 | Life – Half Glass Full
51. Stranger | La Gatita Oscura
52. Friends: Daily Post | Destino
53. Secret Keeper | Among the Whispers
54. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends, 09.04.14 | Markie’s Daily Blog
55. April B
56. Why Can’t We Be Friends? | djgarcia94
57. I Have A Bitch Face | Properly Ridiculous
58. eastelmhurst.a.go.go
59. for jordan | peacefulblessedstar
60. Flights of Fancy | LenzExperiments
61. I am Exhibit D! | Views Splash!
62. NaPoWriMo2014 Day 9: “Brothers in arms” | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
63. Are You Gonna Be My Friend? A Daily Prompt Reply | Let the Ink Run Free
64. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | My Atheist Blog
65. The Art of Befriending A New Person | just mean hope
66. True or fake? Friendship lessons | Parents Are People Too
67. Why Can’t We Be Friends | Lead us from the Unreal to the Real
68. The Art of Friendship | Green Embers
69. My Friend, B | Love.Books.Coffee.
70. Backpack for Life | Dreams to Reality !
71. My simple easy steps to make friends | Emovere
72. “Choose Carefully!” “But, So Many Fish In The Sea.” | Sloppy Etymology
73. Why An Internet Writer Can Never Be Your Best Friend | Sloppy Etymology
74. Friends Aren’t Stationary | Sloppy Etymology
75. Goodness Gracious Me! | LenzExperiments
76. A Toast to Friendship | Expressions
77. Why We Can’t Be Friends: Daily Prompt | Just Visiting This Planet
78. The look: The art of befriending | until the inkwell dries
79. If You’re Good, We’ll Get a Treat at Goudies | The Zombies Ate My Brains
80. About that whole friend thing… | Willow’s Corner
81. a to z: h is for hawaiian hug | meraki geek
82. It’s This Easy | Edward Hotspur
83. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | Basically Beyond Basic
84. The art of befriending someone new? Alcohol. | Hunny, lemme tell u ’bout it!
85. Daily prompt: You’re asking me? | helen meikle’s scribblefest
86. Friends not wanted. Thanks anyway | JED’s Playhouse
87. Suicide no. 41: Still Life | derekalanwilkinson
88. Golden Rule of Friendship | 365 Days of Thank You
89. Daily Prompt: The Friendship Department | Blissful Pages
90. OMG! Let’s be Besties! | Baby Gates Down
91. Daily Prompt: Why Can’t We Be Friends? | My Other Blog
92. BEFRIENDING…I guess it’s an ART… | FREE BIRD
93. Friends with me? | itsmayurremember
94. New in Town | Daily Post | Cabin Pressure May Change
95. Why Can’t We be Friends? [Still] « Restawyle